We sometimes hear the term ‘the relationship is on the rocks’. We all have personality traits under the surface, personal traits about ourselves that we don’t like too much, jealousy, selfishness or vengeful thoughts. When couples are going through the trauma and stress of separation many of these traits come to the surface, it’s like the tide has gone out, and those traits we don’t like are now clear to see. They are sticking out like rocks above the surface. We can see them very clearly in our former partner and even in ourselves. We don’t like the person that our former partner has become. And often it is hard to admit, but we also don’t like the person we have become too.